Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Random Wisdom and Musings

Random Wisdom and Musings

1. If you're a woman it's bad idea to show up on a blind date with a massive cold sore infestation around your lips and expect a call back for another date.

2. It's a bad idea for a man to show up for a blind/first date with his fly open.

3. Generally, it's bad idea to come into a marriage and immediately demand half your spouse's property. If you want half their property then earn it with both 50 years of sweat equity and faithful and devoted marriage. A good husband or wife will recognize if your giving it you best effort, give you your due along the way and reciprocate.

4. If there is something about the behavior of you mate's family. Give it time to evolve to something more to your liking. Rome wasn't built in day. Habits and behaviors that have been in place for 20 plus years need time to evolve to something else.. Don't think hours and minutes, or even days, but more like weeks months, or years..

5. If you start low class verbal abuse with your Wife/Husband/Girlfriend's family don't demand forgiveness without finding in your heart to forgive them first even if you believe that in the initial incident they were wrong. to start with Then don't demand forgiveness, but ask for it. As part of this remember one of your first lessons you learned in Kindergarten. To jog your memory something along the lines of, "Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me?" A Motto to live by. To let pride and ego destroy your relations with both your spouse and your in laws is both low class and poor taste. Always take the moral high ground.

6. A. If you're a woman and find yourself in a serious relationship or even marriage and you've had a rather vivid dating/sexual history prior to this relationship it's a bad idea to constantly talk in intimate detail about your last boyfriend(s). Nothing pumps a man full of both confidence and libido, then to hear about the woman he loves in the arms of another man even if it was before he came on the scene. Plus, no man wants to hear about it if he finds you "a little loose." (ahem!) Remember, if you want to see and play with "Mr. Happy" he's got to be "Happy."

B. If you're a man it's best to leave your sexual conquests in the past. Love the one you're with and affirm her confidence. As far as she knows she's you're one and only. She doesn't need to know how you broke into a Catholic church in the days before you met her with an ex-stripper and made love every which way but loose on the altar at midnight. Or had epic stag parties at you college frat house where you had a nasty sexual adventure with a pair of twin CHi-O Cuties. Nope, it never happened.

7. To give up on a marriage because your spouse doesn't immediately put your name on the deed to the house he or she owned before you married them is stupid. Especially, if you know they love you deeply and gave you equal access to the space. Yeah, nothing says success when you lose out earning yearly equity in a 1,750 plus Sq ft, $120,00 to $150,00 house by divorcing the owner only to go pay $800 rent on a 900 to 650 sq ft apt then to hook up with another guy to live in another sub 1,000 sq ft. apt. Oh yeah, living an apartment in one quarter the space of the real bona fide house you started in and earning nothing for the money paid in to live there really signifies accomplishment and that you have arrived!

8. A. A woman who changes lovers once a month has a serious esteem and Psychological problems.

B. A woman who has unprotected sex with men she only just met especially so!

9. If feel your marriage is so bad that you want a divorce. Just get up and run for your life! Take the clothes on you back and get out! Don't come back and haggle to keep the car that was given to you to replace the one you owned and sold to make money for continuing education that you subsequently squandered. Don't ask your soon to be former spouse to help you pack. You leave.. You're done! What little value of the possessions left behind both is the cost and the price of freedom and the penalty for running out of a marriage.